Dudes Are Pissed

Dudes are pissed off, and they will most definitely speak up about it. I'm reading stories each day of guys who suffered abuse, and the legal runaround that resulted when they tried to fight it. Many of them are quite humble. Some of them turn very political.

The only effective politics are the extreme ones. The only line to take is the hard line. Dudes are pissed that new legislation makes it easier to prosecute abusers. They are pissed that due process isn't in play when it comes to domestic abuse against men. Dudes are pissed.

But I get worried by some of what I read. There was once an episode of Married With Children where Al started a political action group called "NO MA'AM" or "Men Against Amazonian Masterhood." It's funny, but Al in his basement isn't too far off from men in discussion forums.

When it comes to the stories we gather for this project, I don't get my politics involved. Politics are there, but when a person is abused, it can be dangerous to politicize it. When you politicize anything, you get into trouble. In cases of abused men, it is possible that some people might turn a blind eye. As I have said before, we are sometimes in danger of seeing the events symbolically, not concretely. When you see it symbolically, you can turn it into political fodder. When you look at the case itself, you see that it's a person who has been hit.

The movement against male abuse is in its infancy. It's fighting the battle that NOW was fighting when it first began. The problem is that the public has completely missed the point on all of this. If someone gets abused, it's wrong. No one deserves to be hit or humiliated or yelled at. Let me be clear: if a man hits a woman, he deserves whatever the law might do to him and more. And likewise, if a man is abused, he deserves the same rights and support that female victims do.

I don't condone violence. I'm against it in all its forms. The Men's Movement has a long ways to go. Because it is perceived that to be pro-male is to be anti-female. It is perceived that men are already privileged, and don't need any more help. It is perceived that if you are abused by a woman, you might have done something to deserve it. That right there is an issue.

One of the things that helped the Women's Movement succeed are personal stories, and details on how the abuse made them feel. It grounded the discussion in concrete terms and real events. There was something there that anyone could understand. I have been converted myself. Before I read the stories, I was convinced that the guy deserved it no matter what, as an indirect form of justice for the violence against women. The argument will never be settled until the stories come forward. When an abused woman and an abused man can find common ground and help comfort one another, we will have made some progress here.

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