Why Tell Your Story?

When it comes to gathering stories, we are looking for the needle in the haystack. Or more like a needle in a million different haystacks. It's like looking for your wallet in a lost-and-found. We post to craigslist.org, Facebook, and Yahoo! groups, asking the general public to share.

My boss uses the analogy of a rifle shot v. a shotgun blast. We can post out to the public and invite stories in a public forum, which is the shotgun blast. Maybe less effective.

The rifle shot approach is when we find someone who is already telling their story, and we invite them to join us. It can be frustrating and time-consuming, but when the story is found, it's gold. The direct approach is always the best.

A lot of guys need the permission to be able to talk about their abusive relationship. The reasons they don't share:

• They have been told not to. 
• They feel they are less of a man if they do.
• They have been laughed at or ridiculed for being in the situation in the first place. 
• They are worried about their professional reputation, or any personal fallout from sharing their stories. 
• They don't consider themselves writers. 

The reasons they do post:

• The story is eating them alive and they are dying to share it in a safe environment. 
• They want the catharsis, the release, the therapeutic relief that comes from getting something major off their chest. 
• They want to help other guys who have been in the same situation. 

The reasons you should post:

•  You are part of a community of men all over the world who can benefit from your honesty. 
•  You will feel better after you do.
• If you don't consider yourself a writer, that doesn't matter to us. We have a lot of good tips for how to tell your story, in your own words. As an editor, the stories we get from guys who don't consider themselves writers are often the best things we have ever read on the subject. Why? Because they're personal stories, in your own words.